Habit 3: Put First Things First

To live a more balanced existence, you have to recognize that not doing everything that comes along is okay. There's no need to overextend yourself. 

All it takes is realizing that it's all right to say no when necessary and then focus on your highest priorities.

Habit 1 says, "You're in charge. You're the creator." Being proactive is about choice. Habit 2 is the first, or mental, creation. Beginning with the End in Mind is about vision. Habit 3 is the second creation, the physical creation. This habit is where Habits 1 and 2 come together. It happens day in and day out, moment-by-moment. It deals with many of the questions addressed in the field of time management. But that's not all it's about. Habit 3 is about life management as well--your purpose, values, roles, and priorities. What are "first things?" First things are those things you, personally, find of most worth. If you put first things first, you are organizing and managing time and events according to the personal priorities you established in Habit 2.

Habit 4: Think Win-Win

Think Win-Win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. 

It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration.

Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. 

We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing--that is, if I win, you lose; 

or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game.

 There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; 

it's not fair, and I'm going to make sure you don't get anymore.

 We all play the game, but how much fun is it really?

Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. 

Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. 

Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. 

We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!

 

A person/organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:

1. Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments
2. Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and feelings of others
3. Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone

Many people think in terms of either/or: either you're nice or you're tough. 

Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration.

 To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. 

You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. 

To do that--to achieve that balance between courage and

consideration--is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.

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Habit 2: Begin with the End in Mind

So, what do you want to be when you grow up? That question may appear a little trite, but think about it for a moment. Are you--right now--who you want to be, what you dreamed you'd be, doing what you always wanted to do? Be honest.

Sometimes people find themselves achieving victories that are empty--successes that have come at the expense of things that were far more valuable to them. If your ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step you take gets you to the wrong place faster.

Habit 2 is based on imagination--the ability to envision in your mind what you cannot at present see with your eyes. It is based on the principle that all things are created twice. There is a mental (first) creation, and a physical (second) creation. The physical creation follows the mental, just as a building follows a blueprint.

If you don't make a conscious effort to visualize who you are and what you want in life, then you empower other people and circumstances to shape you and your life by default. It's about connecting again with your own uniqueness and then defining the personal, moral, and ethical guidelines within which you can most happily express and fulfill yourself. Begin each day, task, or project with a clear vision of your desired direction and destination, and then continue by flexing your proactive muscles to make things happen.

One of the best ways to incorporate Habit 2 into your life is to develop a Personal Mission Statement. It focuses on what you want to be and do. It is your plan for success. It reaffirms who you are, puts your goals in focus, and moves your ideas into the real world. Your mission statement makes you the leader of your own life. You create your own destiny and secure the future you envision.